Be Kind

Posted: Tuesday, December 9, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , , ,
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Last night I was talking with my daughters about the poor behaviors of others while at work. My girls love working with people and at 18 – 23, one is a waitress, one is a salesperson for a cell phone company, and one works at a local grocery store. As such, all three get to see the good as well as the bad behaviors of the people in our community… Which is certainly magnified this time of year.

After listening to their horror stories and sharing a few of my own from my early days selling Christmas trees, I was reminded of the quote; "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person."
My favorites were the people who would say: "I could buy this place and fire you," or "I know the owner and I could have you fired." Those who say such things have revealed more about their character & integrity than about their influence or power.

To live life to the fullest, at some point in our life we need to let go of the idea that some people are below us. The Bible is very clear in stating that this isn't the case. Even if you've worked hard to get to where you are in life, there’s no such thing as a self-made person. Someone believed, encouraged, and invested in you. Be grateful and be that someone for others as well. What goes around eventually comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong in the long run by showing how small someone else is.

Personally, some of the best lessons I have learned in my life have come from people who (my arrogant, younger self) thought that there was nothing that person could teach me. Don't be lazy and make assumptions about people. Ask about their story. Then listen. Be humble. Be teachable. Be human. Next time you want to scold a waitress or argue with a salesperson… realize that was once each of us, and it could be my daughter… or it could be yours.
Remember, The only time you should look down on someone is when you are reaching down to lift them up!
You've got this!
LWS

Is it time for you to stop setting goals?

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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I was talking with a partner this morning and he asked me: "What goals are you shooting for next year?" He went silent when I said; "I am not setting goals for next year. I didn't set any this year, and it was a record year for us... so I am skipping setting goals for next year as well." He was shocked, but then I explained to him my thought process...

We all have things that we want to achieve in our lives — getting into the better shape, building a successful business, raising a wonderful family, improving our financial situation, and so on. For most of us, the path to those things starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. I have taught people this process for years and this is how I approached my life until recently. I would set yearly goals for my health, my finances, my business, and my life. Setting goals has been a huge part of my life for over 25 years... But the results have been mixed.

Today, what I’m starting to realize is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things. It all comes down to the difference between your goals and your system.

What’s the difference between your goals and your system?
If you’re a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
If you’re a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales, marketing, and training process.

Now for the really interesting question… If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results? 
You know you would!  My friend Randy Schroeder says this; “DDDDBC – Daily disciplines done daily build character.” And they do… but they also build businesses, finances, better health and so on.

There are two more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals.
1. Goals reduce your current happiness.
When you’re working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, “I’m not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal.” The problem with this mindset is that you’re teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I’ll be successful.”
SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not just a goal.
You can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals. When I started my business years ago I set goals to hit three separate levels by certain dates. I missed my first one by three months, the second by six months, and the third by two and a half years. Needless to say I was unhappy and frustrated. However, I found it much easier to focus on the daily disciplines I could control (how many phone calls, presentations, etc. ) The key to our success in network marketing has nothing to do with the ranks we have hit, it's all in our "system." We have simply averaged 15+ presentations a month for over 25 years. When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.
You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that’s not always true. Consider someone who sets a goal to lose 30 pounds. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they hit that goal, they stop training. Their goal was to lose the weight and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. This can create a type of “yo-yo effect” where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.
SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.
When you set a goal and you don’t reach it, you often feel like a failure. But with a systems-based mentality, it’s much easier to carry on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it’s about sticking to the process and not backing off of your efforts.

None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I've found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress.
Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win.
Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes all the difference!

You've got this!
LWS


Excerpts via@ Scott Adams & James Clear

No Man's Land.

Posted: Wednesday, September 17, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , ,
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Tennis is a great game. It teaches players a lot about temperament and psychological tendencies. Tennis is one of those games where you must play the ball, not the opponent. If you take care of the ball, take care of your shot, you force your opponent to take care of his business also. 

Court position is a vital part of a player's strategy and ability to execute effective shots. In tennis, the phrase "No Man's Land or The Dead Zone" refers to the area of the tennis court where a player doesn't want to be trading shots. This area is where half volleys land at your feet, shots go into your body and too much open court is exposed for angled passing shots. Good players spend almost no time here. They may return a short ball from no man’s land but will return to the baseline or take the net. No man’s land is where mediocre players go to die.

No man’s land is not just a tennis issue. "No Man's Land" can be a metaphor for nearly every aspect of a life. No man’s land is any place where you are unfocused, uncommitted, waffling, or have an unclear vision of what to do or where you are going... And guaranteed, you will get chewed up. No man’s land is where mediocre entrepreneurs go to die.

If you are going to be successful at anything, at some point you must decide whether you’re in or you’re out. It’s that simple! No more stories, no more sidestepping, no more excuses, escape hatches, or half efforts. You’re either in, or you’re out. You are either going to do it or you're not!

Learn from others that are successful, make your venture a priority, pay the price and never give up!

LWS

#success

We all get down... you just don't want to stay there!

Posted: Saturday, September 13, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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Last week I put up a post on Facebook about bitterness and received a private message from a friend who asked a powerful question. She asked; “I liked your post today regarding you and Tracey... But what if it's underlying sadness that often comes out as bitterness. If we let go of the front that holds strong people stronger then we are often left with a crumbling wall of tears. Finding strength to pull past that, has proven difficult for me. Even trusting and relying on God makes me feel weak.”
(While this is a little long, I would like to share my reply here in hopes that it may add value to others going through the same struggles)



Let me start by saying that most people deal with negative emotions by putting up walls. We are all really two people. Who we really are and who we want the world to think we are. The closer the two people are, the greater the happiness and joy in your life. I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers for this one, but I would like to share a couple of thoughts that have been a benefit in my life as well as others.

1. List everything in your life you are grateful for.
No matter the cards you've been dealt, or whether this year has felt tougher than most, there's always something in life to be thankful for. There's also a good reason to find that something: Practicing gratitude and writing down your blessings takes your mind away from what’s wrong with your life and brings you back to what’s right in it. Then begin and end each day reading your list.

2. Make a mental decision that your best days are ahead of you.
Personally, sadness has always seeped into my life when I look at past failures, broken relationships, and regrets. It’s like at times I can get stuck re-reading the same chapter of my life over and over. At some point, I (you) must make a conscious decision to turn the page and move forward with your life. Life is always best when it’s spent looking through the windshield rather than the rear view mirror.

3. Be careful who you confide in.
Working through depression or sadness is an internal battle. While you may have a parent or spouse that can help you through it, more often than not, you create a bigger issue when you get others involved. Unfortunately, there are also people around you that will use it against you and are glad that you have them. When I have spoken with a friend about a problem that they really can’t “fix,” suddenly I have two problems… The original problem, and the reaction from my friend about my problem.

4. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
While it is a difficult skill to master, one of the greatest powers that we have is the ability to choose one thought over another. A trained mind has the ability to decipher what thoughts serve them well and those that don't. While telling someone to “stop thinking about what makes them sad” may sound too simple, training yourself to choose which thoughts to dwell on is one of the best ways to find peace and happiness in your life. Like growing a garden, the only way to have a successful harvest is by regular weeding.

5. Trust in God.
As a Christian, the knowledge that I am not alone is what gives me strength. I admit that I don’t know all of Gods plans in my life… But I know that He has them and I am grateful to be part of them.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

May God Bless you!
You've got this!

Money Is not important to me!

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , ,
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Every month or two, usually after one of my business ownership seminars, someone will come up to me and smugly say something like; "I am not like you or these people here, money means very little to me." I always get a good chuckle out of that remark and upon further questioning, without fail, they will fall into one of three categories:

1. They are collecting disability, welfare, unemployment or being financially supported by some other social program.
2. They are living at home with their parents, living on their own with the support of their parents, or are being financially supported by a friend, family member or their spouse.
3 They are working two to three jobs and if married, the spouse works as well. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that the people in the first two categories are virtually unteachable since it requires little or no effort on their part to exist. (Now I realize from time to time someone may need some temporary help, that's not what I am discussing here. I am referring to someone who is "riding in the wagon" questioning the motives as well as minimizing others for wanting to make money while they "pull the wagon.")
 The people in the third category give me hope. They are working hard so I will always try give them a few minutes of my time so I can walk them through a few common misconceptions. Personally, In my early 20's I had some misguided thoughts about money and wealth until I was taught some of the following simple truths:

 1. Money is neither good nor bad, it's a magnifier of who you are. Contrary to what many believe, money is certainly NOT the root of all evil. What the Bible actually says is, “The love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). Those two little words, “love of” make a huge difference to the total meaning. I can tell you from my own experience that I thought more about money when I didn't have it than when I did. Look at every hospital wing, church, charity, or humanitarian effort and it will ultimately lead back to a financially blessed person who wanted to pay it forward and become a blessing to others. If you are a good person, we ALL want you to become wealthy!

 2. Time is more valuable than money. Financially successful people understand this and they use their money to buy time while everyone else sells it. When you have enough income, you are able to pay people to do the things you don't want to do yourself. Things like cleaning your house, maintaining your car, mowing your lawn, cleaning your pool or helping run your business. Once I understood that people pay others to do things they don't want to do so they can have more time for the things they want to do, the next logical question that changed my life years ago was; "so why am I getting paid at my job?"

 3. When you sell your time, you are never paid what you are worth, only what the job is worth. My daughter, who worked at a coffee shop, once complained to me that she should be paid more than $9.00 an hour. My daughter is amazing so I quickly agreed, but unfortunately for her the job was only worth $9.00 an hour. Once she understood this, she quickly found a new job that had more value. Remember, salaries are well publicized... Taking a job, then complaining about the pay is like moving to Phoenix and complaining that it's hot.

 4. Happiness doesn't come from having stuff, happiness comes from having options. While a nice house, car, or boat is great, most financially successful people value the freedom they have over anything that they own. When I had a job in my early 20's I was told when to get up, what time to be at work, when to go to lunch, and when I could go home. Come to think of it, most of the decisions that impacted my time and life were made by someone else. You can never be truly free until you are financially free.

 5. Unless you take control of your future, you will spend most of your life working for money. I had a very short debate with a professional in their thirty's last year. After he told me money wasn't his "priority" in life, I asked him; "what was?" He came up with a great list... His family, his faith, his health, helping others, etc... He was surprised when I agreed, then I asked him how much time he spent every day making money?" "Nine to ten hours" was his reply. Ok, how much time does that leave you with your family? Your faith? Your health? Etc.? He got quiet... because it's easy to say that money's not important but your time and actions tell the real story.

Chase your passions, make money, have fun and make a difference!
You've got this!

It's Your Life... Don't Miss It!

Posted: Wednesday, February 26, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , , , ,
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From time to time, someone will private message me criticizing me for posting a lifestyle picture or they will accuse me of bragging about my family, a recent purchase, trips, or something like that. It never really bothers me, but today I would like to explain why I post certain things.

Several years ago I went to a wedding for a close friend’s daughter. At the reception, in the middle of the first dance between his daughter and the groom, I noticed my friend starting to tear up. When I asked him if he was ok his reply was “I missed it.” “Missed what?” I asked. “Her whole life” he said. While this friend was financially successful, I wondered at that moment; “How much of his money would he be willing to give back in return for a few more years with his only daughter?” The experience reminded me of the John Lennon quote; "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

From that day on I stopped counting my life in just months, years and decades and decided to focus on having a good day… because, as my friend Kevin Knebl says; “Good days make up a good life.” The first thing I say every morning when I awake is; "Thank you God for another day.” The last thing I do each day is thank Him for my blessings and ask for one more. If the answer is no, I would like to believe that I am ready. That doesn't mean I'm looking to go right away, but if it's my time, I believe I am ready because I have thoroughly enjoyed my life.

Personally, I meet a lot of people that are “preparing” to get ready to live. They delay all the things they want to do on the hopes that one day they can. I used to be like that. I would say things like; “I will be happy once I am married”, or “once I buy a home.” I will be a success once I accomplish “this” or once I am able to do “that.”


So my thought for today is this… Yes, prepare for the future and be responsible but don't forget to live today! Take your kids golfing and enjoy a sunset. Plan a trip, buy a pet, sing out loud to a to a great song, laugh more. Tell more people that you love them and ask for forgiveness from someone you’ve wronged. Don't wait. Do it now, because that is all you are guaranteed.

This is your life… Don’t “Miss It!”

Carry on… ツ

Every Choice You Make.

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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Last week, Tracey and I sat down with our third daughter Kasey and discussed her future. We have gone through this exercise with her older sisters and it’s been a milestone in each of their lives. Since there are a lot of uncertainties in life for a teenager, rather than ask them to decide a particular career path or choose their soul mate, we asked them to describe to us the “30,000 foot” view of what they want their life to look like in 10 to 15 years.

Do they want to be married? If so, what would their ideal spouse be like? Will they have a family and what will that look like? Will they own a home? Go to work every day? Will they be making good money in ten years? Will they travel and where? Do they see themselves going to soccer games to watch their kids on weekends and will they go to church? Will they live in the city, the suburbs, or in the country?

Once we have view of where they want to be, I give them an assignment to put it on paper. To cut out a picture of the home they see themselves in, the spouse they see themselves with and the children as well. Get a picture of the places they dream of traveling to and the things they would like to see.

The final step to this process is the most important of the entire exercise.
As a professional speaker, I have taught for years that there is no joy in settling for less than you deserve and that we are all a product of all the choices we make. I see most people give up what they want most for what they want now and I have taught that there is no shortcuts to success.
With that in mind, we explained to my daughter that EVERY decision she makes, from this point forward, will either take her closer to this reality or further away.
Every friend she chooses.
Every boy she dates.
Every class she takes.
Her work ethic.
Her desire for excellence.
Her character.
Her moral compass.
Every rule she keeps or breaks.
Everything!
Each decision will either get her closer to her Dream Life or further away… Period!

This has been a valuable lesson to my children as well as a great reminder for me.
Every choice and decision that I make either gets me closer to my dreams or further away…. And yours do too!