Showing posts with label Attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Attitude. Show all posts

Be Kind

Posted: Tuesday, December 9, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , , ,
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Last night I was talking with my daughters about the poor behaviors of others while at work. My girls love working with people and at 18 – 23, one is a waitress, one is a salesperson for a cell phone company, and one works at a local grocery store. As such, all three get to see the good as well as the bad behaviors of the people in our community… Which is certainly magnified this time of year.

After listening to their horror stories and sharing a few of my own from my early days selling Christmas trees, I was reminded of the quote; "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person."
My favorites were the people who would say: "I could buy this place and fire you," or "I know the owner and I could have you fired." Those who say such things have revealed more about their character & integrity than about their influence or power.

To live life to the fullest, at some point in our life we need to let go of the idea that some people are below us. The Bible is very clear in stating that this isn't the case. Even if you've worked hard to get to where you are in life, there’s no such thing as a self-made person. Someone believed, encouraged, and invested in you. Be grateful and be that someone for others as well. What goes around eventually comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong in the long run by showing how small someone else is.

Personally, some of the best lessons I have learned in my life have come from people who (my arrogant, younger self) thought that there was nothing that person could teach me. Don't be lazy and make assumptions about people. Ask about their story. Then listen. Be humble. Be teachable. Be human. Next time you want to scold a waitress or argue with a salesperson… realize that was once each of us, and it could be my daughter… or it could be yours.
Remember, The only time you should look down on someone is when you are reaching down to lift them up!
You've got this!
LWS

Is it time for you to stop setting goals?

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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I was talking with a partner this morning and he asked me: "What goals are you shooting for next year?" He went silent when I said; "I am not setting goals for next year. I didn't set any this year, and it was a record year for us... so I am skipping setting goals for next year as well." He was shocked, but then I explained to him my thought process...

We all have things that we want to achieve in our lives — getting into the better shape, building a successful business, raising a wonderful family, improving our financial situation, and so on. For most of us, the path to those things starts by setting a specific and actionable goal. I have taught people this process for years and this is how I approached my life until recently. I would set yearly goals for my health, my finances, my business, and my life. Setting goals has been a huge part of my life for over 25 years... But the results have been mixed.

Today, what I’m starting to realize is that when it comes to actually getting things done and making progress in the areas that are important to you, there is a much better way to do things. It all comes down to the difference between your goals and your system.

What’s the difference between your goals and your system?
If you’re a coach, your goal is to win a championship. Your system is what your team does at practice each day.
If you’re a writer, your goal is to write a book. Your system is the writing schedule that you follow each week.
If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal is to build a million dollar business. Your system is your sales, marketing, and training process.

Now for the really interesting question… If you completely ignored your goals and focused only on your system, would you still get results? 
You know you would!  My friend Randy Schroeder says this; “DDDDBC – Daily disciplines done daily build character.” And they do… but they also build businesses, finances, better health and so on.

There are two more reasons why you should focus on systems instead of goals.
1. Goals reduce your current happiness.
When you’re working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, “I’m not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal.” The problem with this mindset is that you’re teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy. Once I achieve my goal, then I’ll be successful.”
SOLUTION: Commit to a process, not just a goal.
You can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to your schedule, rather than worrying about the big, life-changing goals. When I started my business years ago I set goals to hit three separate levels by certain dates. I missed my first one by three months, the second by six months, and the third by two and a half years. Needless to say I was unhappy and frustrated. However, I found it much easier to focus on the daily disciplines I could control (how many phone calls, presentations, etc. ) The key to our success in network marketing has nothing to do with the ranks we have hit, it's all in our "system." We have simply averaged 15+ presentations a month for over 25 years. When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time.

2. Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress.
You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that’s not always true. Consider someone who sets a goal to lose 30 pounds. Many people will work hard for months, but as soon as they hit that goal, they stop training. Their goal was to lose the weight and now that they have completed it, that goal is no longer there to motivate them. This can create a type of “yo-yo effect” where people go back and forth from working on a goal to not working on one. This type of cycle makes it difficult to build upon your progress for the long-term.
SOLUTION: Release the need for immediate results.
When you set a goal and you don’t reach it, you often feel like a failure. But with a systems-based mentality, it’s much easier to carry on. Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it’s about sticking to the process and not backing off of your efforts.

None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I've found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress.
Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win.
Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes all the difference!

You've got this!
LWS


Excerpts via@ Scott Adams & James Clear

We all get down... you just don't want to stay there!

Posted: Saturday, September 13, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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Last week I put up a post on Facebook about bitterness and received a private message from a friend who asked a powerful question. She asked; “I liked your post today regarding you and Tracey... But what if it's underlying sadness that often comes out as bitterness. If we let go of the front that holds strong people stronger then we are often left with a crumbling wall of tears. Finding strength to pull past that, has proven difficult for me. Even trusting and relying on God makes me feel weak.”
(While this is a little long, I would like to share my reply here in hopes that it may add value to others going through the same struggles)



Let me start by saying that most people deal with negative emotions by putting up walls. We are all really two people. Who we really are and who we want the world to think we are. The closer the two people are, the greater the happiness and joy in your life. I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers for this one, but I would like to share a couple of thoughts that have been a benefit in my life as well as others.

1. List everything in your life you are grateful for.
No matter the cards you've been dealt, or whether this year has felt tougher than most, there's always something in life to be thankful for. There's also a good reason to find that something: Practicing gratitude and writing down your blessings takes your mind away from what’s wrong with your life and brings you back to what’s right in it. Then begin and end each day reading your list.

2. Make a mental decision that your best days are ahead of you.
Personally, sadness has always seeped into my life when I look at past failures, broken relationships, and regrets. It’s like at times I can get stuck re-reading the same chapter of my life over and over. At some point, I (you) must make a conscious decision to turn the page and move forward with your life. Life is always best when it’s spent looking through the windshield rather than the rear view mirror.

3. Be careful who you confide in.
Working through depression or sadness is an internal battle. While you may have a parent or spouse that can help you through it, more often than not, you create a bigger issue when you get others involved. Unfortunately, there are also people around you that will use it against you and are glad that you have them. When I have spoken with a friend about a problem that they really can’t “fix,” suddenly I have two problems… The original problem, and the reaction from my friend about my problem.

4. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
While it is a difficult skill to master, one of the greatest powers that we have is the ability to choose one thought over another. A trained mind has the ability to decipher what thoughts serve them well and those that don't. While telling someone to “stop thinking about what makes them sad” may sound too simple, training yourself to choose which thoughts to dwell on is one of the best ways to find peace and happiness in your life. Like growing a garden, the only way to have a successful harvest is by regular weeding.

5. Trust in God.
As a Christian, the knowledge that I am not alone is what gives me strength. I admit that I don’t know all of Gods plans in my life… But I know that He has them and I am grateful to be part of them.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

May God Bless you!
You've got this!

It's Your Life... Don't Miss It!

Posted: Wednesday, February 26, 2014 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , , , ,
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From time to time, someone will private message me criticizing me for posting a lifestyle picture or they will accuse me of bragging about my family, a recent purchase, trips, or something like that. It never really bothers me, but today I would like to explain why I post certain things.

Several years ago I went to a wedding for a close friend’s daughter. At the reception, in the middle of the first dance between his daughter and the groom, I noticed my friend starting to tear up. When I asked him if he was ok his reply was “I missed it.” “Missed what?” I asked. “Her whole life” he said. While this friend was financially successful, I wondered at that moment; “How much of his money would he be willing to give back in return for a few more years with his only daughter?” The experience reminded me of the John Lennon quote; "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

From that day on I stopped counting my life in just months, years and decades and decided to focus on having a good day… because, as my friend Kevin Knebl says; “Good days make up a good life.” The first thing I say every morning when I awake is; "Thank you God for another day.” The last thing I do each day is thank Him for my blessings and ask for one more. If the answer is no, I would like to believe that I am ready. That doesn't mean I'm looking to go right away, but if it's my time, I believe I am ready because I have thoroughly enjoyed my life.

Personally, I meet a lot of people that are “preparing” to get ready to live. They delay all the things they want to do on the hopes that one day they can. I used to be like that. I would say things like; “I will be happy once I am married”, or “once I buy a home.” I will be a success once I accomplish “this” or once I am able to do “that.”


So my thought for today is this… Yes, prepare for the future and be responsible but don't forget to live today! Take your kids golfing and enjoy a sunset. Plan a trip, buy a pet, sing out loud to a to a great song, laugh more. Tell more people that you love them and ask for forgiveness from someone you’ve wronged. Don't wait. Do it now, because that is all you are guaranteed.

This is your life… Don’t “Miss It!”

Carry on… ツ

Every Choice You Make.

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , , , ,
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Last week, Tracey and I sat down with our third daughter Kasey and discussed her future. We have gone through this exercise with her older sisters and it’s been a milestone in each of their lives. Since there are a lot of uncertainties in life for a teenager, rather than ask them to decide a particular career path or choose their soul mate, we asked them to describe to us the “30,000 foot” view of what they want their life to look like in 10 to 15 years.

Do they want to be married? If so, what would their ideal spouse be like? Will they have a family and what will that look like? Will they own a home? Go to work every day? Will they be making good money in ten years? Will they travel and where? Do they see themselves going to soccer games to watch their kids on weekends and will they go to church? Will they live in the city, the suburbs, or in the country?

Once we have view of where they want to be, I give them an assignment to put it on paper. To cut out a picture of the home they see themselves in, the spouse they see themselves with and the children as well. Get a picture of the places they dream of traveling to and the things they would like to see.

The final step to this process is the most important of the entire exercise.
As a professional speaker, I have taught for years that there is no joy in settling for less than you deserve and that we are all a product of all the choices we make. I see most people give up what they want most for what they want now and I have taught that there is no shortcuts to success.
With that in mind, we explained to my daughter that EVERY decision she makes, from this point forward, will either take her closer to this reality or further away.
Every friend she chooses.
Every boy she dates.
Every class she takes.
Her work ethic.
Her desire for excellence.
Her character.
Her moral compass.
Every rule she keeps or breaks.
Everything!
Each decision will either get her closer to her Dream Life or further away… Period!

This has been a valuable lesson to my children as well as a great reminder for me.
Every choice and decision that I make either gets me closer to my dreams or further away…. And yours do too!

Don't Focus on the Bug Guts!

Posted: by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , ,
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Last week I had a conversation with a good friend which became awkward after fifteen minutes or so. My friend has an amazing family and career and it was like he was trying his hardest to find the problems in his life in spite of his good fortune. It reminded of a speech I did years ago on focus.

One summer I decided to take my family cross-country in our first motorhome. On the third day we drove from Utah into Colorado and came across one of the prettiest valleys we had ever seen. The surrounding mountaintops were covered with snow and had pine trees as far as you could see. The valley was full of color with a dozen different flowers that were in bloom and there was a crystal clear river winding back and forth from the freeway to the base of the mountains.

 As I drove down into this breathtaking valley a bug hit the lower left corner of my windshield followed by a second right beside it. They both left a pretty big marks and along with the normal yellow color they seemed to have mixed in a little green and red. In fact one of them, I recall, looked like it was taking the shape of Florida as it spread across the corner of my windshield.

About that time I heard Tracey scream my name and I looked up just in time to recover from almost driving off the side of the freeway. As I caught my breath I realized that in the midst of one of the most beautiful places in the world I almost lost everything... Why? Because rather than looking at all the amazing things around me I was off staring at the “Bug Guts.”

That story later became a CD as well as a metaphor for our family when we lose sight of our blessing and focus on the problems. When we take our eye off of where we are going and get distracted by the hurts of the past.

So today, ask yourself: "What are the “bug guts” in my life?"
What are you focusing on that could cost you everything? What are you constantly thinking about that you need to put behind you? Then do it!

As I often post here… Life is Beautiful!

Carry on… ツ

Should I stay or should I go?

Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2012 by Unknown in Labels: , , , , , ,
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Should I stay or should I go?

This is not only a song from one of my favorite 80's bands "The Clash," it's a question that we must ask ourselves on a regular basis.
You will often hear people say; "the only thing constant in life is change." 
While change is a fact of life, it doesn't mean you need to givie up or starting over every time something gets tough. 

As I work with people from all walks of life, one of the most concerning trends I have witnessed is the "disposable" attitude most people have about the most important aspects of their lives.  When things get difficult, people often give up on friends, marriages, careers, businesses, family, etc...  Nothing is safe. 
As I stated in an earlier post, "people quit everything."  I shake my head daily as I watch people sell themselves short or give up on the people around them.

To be clear, sometimes you need to make a change and begin again... but when?
I don't claim to have all the answers, but after working with people over the last 25 years, there is one thing that I am certain of... "Walking away and giving up should be your LAST resort...not your first."

Whenever I get upset at my current circumstances and want to make a change in my life, I always ask myself  two critical questions:
1. Am I in the right place? 
    Is this person, business, or relationship worth my time and effort, or am I wasting my time?
    More often than not, we are the weak link, so here is another way to look at it,
    If I was right would this be right?
2. Have I given it all I have? 
    You have to be honest on this one. Ask yourself this, if I was on my "A" game, would I have different    results than I have now... and have I given it enough time to see the results?
Most people don't quit, they just give up before they ever get good or see the results they want.

If you believe that you are not in the right place and you have given it your all, then maybe it is time for a change... But if you are in the right place and you haven't given your best, then I would stay put and get back to work!  Your "future" self will thank you for it....

That's my "take," what's yours?

Who said What? - Understanding the critics in your life.

Posted: Saturday, July 30, 2011 by Unknown in Labels: , , ,
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"Shelly said I was Ugly," my daughter said when she came home from Jr High a few years ago.  “Who did?” I asked. 

“A girl in my English class, do you remember her?" was her reply. 
"I don't, Why would she say that, and more importantly, do you think it’s true?” I asked. 


She thought for a minute , “Not really, but it wasn't very nice of her.”
I agreed, told her how pretty she is, and then we spoke for a few minutes trying to decipher the root of Shelly's criticism. (Shelly liked a boy, who liked my daughter, nothing more... )

“You want critics in your life,” I said to my daughter. 
“Really?” she questioned. “ Yes, trust me on this one.”


Although it’s hard to comprehend for an eleven year old, everyone who has ever accomplished anything significant in life has a loyal, and often vocal  following of critics. You can start with the president, then work backwards from there. Find any successful person or worthy cause, and I can point you at a person, a writer, or an author of a blog that despises them.


We know that the higher you climb the ladder in life, the more your rear end is exposed. 
The truth is; To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, & be nothing.
To put it differently,  If no one is shooting at you, you're not doing enough.

 Critics are a part of life and are not necessarily a bad thing.  We can listen to what is said, then sort through all the noise to see if any of the points are valid. Personally, If I were to internalize ALL the criticism I have received over my 45 years on this planet, I would be a useless  mess.


Criticism on the other hand, can be very helpful if it’s coming from a good source with the right intentions. 
It can help by;
1. Identifying flat spots in your thinking.
2. Making you aware of others’ perspective.
3. Keeping you accountable for your words and actions.


I gave my daughter an outline I have used for years to understand the meaning of it.
“First, you need to weed out jealousy, bitter people, or those with a different philosophical or moral compass.” I said. 
Hurting people hurt people and arguing with someone with a different view of life will usually be a waste of time and effort.

“Next, you have to figure out the relevance. I have always based the weight of any criticism on three factors.  My relationship with the person, their knowledge of the events, and their personal track record. "

I add them up as follows;

Their relationship with me
None 1
Acquaintance 2
Friend 3
Relative/Good friend 4
Mentor 5


Their knowledge of the events in question
None 1
Very Little 2
Some 3
knowledgeable 4
Expert 5

Their  personal track record
None 1
Minimal 2
Average 3
Good 4
Successful 5
 "Add up the three, and this is what you should do," I explained.


3 - 6 Flush it ( Not worth thinking about )
7 - 9 Acknowledge it ( Look at facts to verify )
10 - 12 Consider it ( Most likely some truth in it )
13 -15 Respect it ( Look again at your beliefs and validate them or change)


When a critic scores a 3, you are wasting your time even thinking about it but a score above 10, take notice and improve.... but keep on moving forward!

As Theodore Roosevelt said;

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

That's my take, what's yours?


Lance


( Archived from a previous blog of mine )

Reflecting

Posted: Monday, April 12, 2010 by Unknown in Labels: ,
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 The process of self reflection helps us
maintain an awareness of where you've
been and where you intend to go. 
I recommend that you read and reread
these questions regularly when you have
some quiet time to think.  After all,
reflection is the key to progression.
Remember, these questions have no right
or wrong answers.  Because asking the
right questions IS the answer.





 ( pictures from Mark & Angel Hack life blog and www.thoughtquestions.com )